Childhood Buddy
by Chronos Conspiracy CK
Summary: No one understood me best like Hotaru. Being with her just felt right and made me feel comfortable so when she left? That obviously never penetrated my thoughts before because all of a sudden I was the one aloen and frightened in the area of old memories.


**This story wasn't intended to be a Gakuen Alice but the author's written journel. Enjoy if possible.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Higuichi Tachibana does.**

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><p>No one understood me best like Hotaru.<p>

Truthfully, I don't care how we met because everything was a blur the whole time I was with her. And while most would believe that to be bad, I didn't.

She had transferred somewhere in second grade and to be truthful; I didn't think much of her. To be as blunt as possible, she was plain and the only reason I noticed her was because she looked like she was part of a gang from what you could consider 'the popular crowd' or 'weird group.' My first words to describe, from what I remember, was nerd since she wore glasses and had clothes that looked specifically outstanding.

I didn't care what she thought of me because I thought little of her to be honest.

She was just what I was, another girl out there that was part of your everyday scenery. Sure, it'd be awkward without those types of characters, yet you wondered anyways, why were they there?

But everything after her, was my golden time. She made me experience new feelings no other could.

For once as well, I was allowed to say that I made my real best friend all by myself.

No mother's help nor push to force me and some random kid to get along, just my own personal will power. And you can bet I was damn proud.

You see, I didn't make friend easy since I was shy, scared, and above all, nervous.

Everything about Hotaru made her look magnificent.

It even made me tempted to say I was envious of her, but then again, I didn't care oddly enough.

We were the old original friends you found in some manga, if I could try to describe our friendship.

We disliked boys, sure at certain points we would tolerate them, otherwise we smacked them out.

From third to the beginning of fifth. A dead friendship that I missed occasionally.

And how we met, was all the luck I guess I was fortunate enough to harbor…

From the sickening same sense all grades usually required of elementary school, the presentation of introducing yourselves.

I'd been going to the same elementary since kindergarten so of course I knew information.

I absorbed it fairly, processing some not as efficiently and proceeded for the next batch to come around.

This was a regular routine I went through years and now it just felt mandatory as a rule from all the same tactics teachers had created.

Being nervous of the entire world did not help, but of course I never thought of everything this way because after all, I'm communicating with a stranger right now obviously.

I had always been scared to be asked to speak aloud. Some had even bothered to announce that I never said anything, evidently forcing me to be involved with their chats and bickers!

They never made something good, was all I knew from those points.

I was scared because I wanted to fit in. I tried and sorted out ideas, but at the same time it totally freaked me out that I was sent quaking in my clothes at home and shivering the next day.

I secretly longed for just a friend to understand me was all I wanted. Someone to agree with whole heartedly and someone to not just understand me, but understand or at least pretend. And I got what I wanted, not that I ever felt that I deserved Hotaru for a second. Just being with her, talking with her, made me forget everything that made me panick.

And I had soon gotten so comfortable and settled in, that I was frustrated when she was not on my radius.

I don't even know what the hell we talked about except just a few memorable experiences which were few.

Most times, I couldn't believe were friends.

I just felt like the cute sidekick of some sort and did worse than her and she didn't complain.

Maybe she used me or whatever. I doubt that though, but that's just my defense mechegnisim on because I'd really hate to think of being a traitor. Actually, no matter what it feels like, I could never dislike Hotaru.

We met rather all by coincidence.

We were the Nonoko and Anna replicas' of the future I swore. And later the Sumire and Wakako model besties of the even further future.

Our third grade teacher had a total different set up of her classroom which made it all the more unique.

She set tables up and labeled them to 'islands' and choose two boys and girls each and allowed to be captains and pick their teammates out themselves with having to choose boy/ girl corresponding to the condition meaning if a female was captain, she chose a male party and later switched vice versa per turn which even I had to admit, was good.

It's sad to say however, that we only ended up in the same island once not including the last month when the girls went against the boys. Other than that, just once in the very first month.

And besides that, of all of our years which compared to other buddies is a longer span, our time was short and what's worse was that was the only year we got the same classroom teacher and the priviledge to be able to assess one another as old classmates.

And when she moved, I think it was safe to say I cracked.

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She knew I dislike to use my computer.

Actually, logically and technically it wasn't mine, but I guess you understand.

Anyways, I'm not sure about her, but I preferred the old snail mail you sent old fashioned.

And only when I was away from her did I see myself terribly. So minus every recess, snack, and lunch time was I greedy.

She did the worst thing she could ever do to me.

She was invited to the prestigious school of Gakuen Alice only allowed for genuises in Tokyo.

A whole country… Freaking world for that matter alone!

Yeah… I know she didn't just waltz right up to me and say _See ya!_ But I wasn't the same.

We had even made our own odd little gang, though she did more of the rounding, well actually all of it and as the one who brought us together, she kept us together.

So of course we'd eventually disperse anyways.

But how _calm_ they were? It _disgusted_ me.

Sumire Shouda, the biggest disappoint I'd say that left after one simple week.

And I'd known her the longest of all!

Heck, I sat next to her in kindergarten!

She's the same one who even presented me a dirty look translated to: you're pathetic for believing in everything you do, but she was at the same time mysterious!

I was always at hysertia, reading alone in the cold, walking aimlessly around the courts.

I'd even driven out the regular people that had hung out in the handball court making me depressed repeat thrice.

Suddenly, everything was what felt like my fault.

The children starving?

Unhappiness amongst cheery first graders?

The undeserving grades and scorn people faced daily?

You could say they had no relation to that matter. To snap at me since they had their own problems and I'd know this inside. Tell me I'm egotistal and that the world didn't revolve around me?

Yet it my mind didn't waver a bit and was less fazed.

Me against the world.

Family was not an exception at all.

It wasn't even invisible because sure they fed me and all that crap, but they otherwise ignored my farewell being existence.

It sure felt different when my brother was involved.

Second in their eyes.

Pffttt…

The times I were first were when I was accused of some accusation thrown at me which later resulted in punishment and if you count my birth and all.

I mean sure, it wasn't like that at all, but they just could and wouldn't understand me.

I didn't want them too.

Because I had Hotaru, or could at least imagined I did.

She really destroyed me when she left.

Everyone accused me of becoming emotional no matter how many times I reassured them I wasn't.

I believe that even if you do have the same interests in everything or anything, you were just merely aquantinces.

Apparently I was correct…

Well, everything else not including anything with Hotaru that is.

And I didn't explain a damn thing nor did I stay on the same topic as I truly wished to begin…

I'm just a useless broken unneeded cog piece which upset me.

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><p>If you acutally liked this story and truly wish to hear more (which I whole heartedly doubt), then ask and I'll tell you another clip of life from my memories since I basically reminse them. And if something just didn't make sense, I'll try to be more clear. Based on true life experiences of the lame author. The only reason it's related to Gakuen Alice is because I changed the names and altered the feelings (really) to fit the Gakuen character as closely as possible 'ya know.<p>

Oh, I advise you to create an account on because if you feel bad enough for me and or actually like this story, you tell me and comment or email me secretly if you're ashamed of asking this. There is no shame on my part, if you'd take the time to actually respond how crappy or cheesy it was at all. And thanks to anyone willing to advertise this lame story of mines.

Sarah was just average. But to me, she was more… and not like lesbian lovers or that type of shit.


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